Guest Blogger: Battling Mommy Guilt

My last guest blogger is an amazing mama and she writes today about a topic that we all struggle with from time to time: mommy guilt! Thanks for writing Megan & welcome ---

"My baby is 7.2 weeks old and not only am I in my pre-pregnancy jeans, but I just ran a half marathon!"

"It's 10am and I have already made a loaf of bread, scrubbed the toilets, done two loads of laundry, started dinner, vacuumed the entire house, AND showered! What to do with the rest of my day?!?"

"'I'm so glad we co-sleep, use cloth diapers, make our own baby food, and follow the alternative vaccination schedule. Wouldn't do it any other way!"

"My three year old just recited the whole book of James from memory! Then emptied the dishwasher without complaining!"

Oh, Facebook. I love it as a tool to keep in touch with friends, but I also inadvertently end up comparing myself to said friends. More often than not, I determine I am not the super mom that they obviously are and find myself trapped in guilt, bitterness, self-condemnation, and jealousy. I can't count how many times I have thought about giving up Facebook, just so I don't have to read the super mom status updates!

If I compared myself to others before being a mom, I do so even more now! I desire, as I think most moms do, to be the best mom possible. So it's hard for me when I see other moms have decided to do something different from what I'm doing (whether it be staying at home vs working; disposable diapers vs cloth; forward facing carseat vs rear facing; jarred baby food vs pureeing it; couponing, cleaning, meal planning, discipline, and sleep training tactics... the list goes on and on). It's doubly hard when a well-meaning friend or family member questions what I'm doing. I wonder, "Am I doing this mom thing right? What if SHE'S doing it right and I'm doing it wrong?"

Then, usually - if I pause the self-talk long enough to breathe, I hear that still small voice reminding me that, just like my son, I am God's handiwork (Ephesians 2:10) and am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14). I am reminded to think about what is true (Philippians 4:8) and not let myself focus on what others are doing, but instead ask myself if I am doing what God has called ME to do? Am I honoring God, my husband, and my son with my choices? Beyond that, am I loving my mommy friends by "thinking no evil" and "believing all things" as 1 Corinthians 13 asks of me?

While pondering my own mommy guilt, I have realized that I have got to stop comparing myself to others. Just like I am trying to be the best mom that I can be, so are my friends. And because we all have different personalities, passions, strengths, and weaknesses, that is going to look different for all of us! The only "right way" for ME to do this mommy thing is by being the mommy that God has called ME to be. This mommy thing is hard. Instead of comparing myself to my mommy friends, I need to encourage them as they travel this road with me!

"Comparison is the thief of joy." - Theodore Roosevelt