Hi there! Lacey here from Spouting a Little Nostalgia! I feature family, photography, crafting, cooking, and our daily lives over at my blog. I am so excited to be a guest blogger here! Rebecca from Dirt Don’t Hurt is a God-fearing, wonderful friend to me and I am privileged to be here on her blog!
Running a Chaotic House…Admit it…you have one too. There is something inside us women than cringe at the thought of adding one more chore to our endless to-do list. One more PTA meeting. One more sporting event. One more dinner to the week that isn’t Papa Murphy’s Pizza. We are pulled into eighteen million directions until we feel that tiny thread snap that was holding us together. There are hundreds of Bible verses that we could throw around that would tell us the right way to do things. There are self-help books that we could read that would show us all the ways that we are failing. Add one more notch to our failure tree today. But all we really want is knowing that God loves us even admit our failure ridden chaotic homes. He admires our efforts and desires for our continued path towards improvement. I am a WAHM. I run a photography business out of my home that is wonderfully thriving and blessed. I homeschool my first grader and I have an almost two year old running around. I am seven months pregnant with another little girl. I write a blog. I run an etsy shop. I still have to maintain and clean my home. I run my daughters to therapy appointments, dentist’s appointments, doctor’s visits, ballet lessons, cheer classes, music classes, Awana, and playdates. And I still have to find time for the two Bible studies that I attend, my own doctor visits for my high risk pregnancy, schedule photo shoots, ordering sessions, answer emails, place orders, design albums and make sure that I get them to my clients in a reasonable amount of time. Sometimes I fail and sometimes I don’t. I also teach art at a private school once a week. For me my path started when my first-born was just about seven months old. I did a Bible study with my mentor, who lived an hour and a half away, once a week. It was called, “A Woman After God’s Own Heart”. And, boy, did I learn a TON. I’ve taken the things that I’ve learned with that, combined it with experience and then seasoned it with years of trial and error. Here is another checklist to add to your never-ending arsenal of checklists:
1. Buy a functional for YOU planner.
I use an Erin Condren Planner because the spaces to write your daily activities are super huge. With all the things that I need to remember, the large spaces are very helpful. Say NO to people, things, events that steal you away from your priorities. Which leads me to say, know your priorities. List them out and in which order and tape it to the inside of your planner cover. If you need a refresher, you have it right on hand.
2. Set up a schedule for your days.
I love a planner I found online but it contained a daily, 15 minute schedule that the designer wanted you to fill up from morning to night. I almost had a fit. I could literally feel myself imploding and terrified. I have a very…spontaneous…personality. Filling up a schedule for every 15 minutes makes me feel trapped without any flexibility. It’s a sanguine nightmare. I tried it for a week and felt even more defeated than when I didn’t have any schedule at all!! So what I do now is this: I have my activities planned out in my Erin Condren planner, and I also have two other note taking planners. They are filled with grids, boxes and pre-numbered list areas. I use these to arrange my actual day with my to-do lists, cleaning checklist, and detailed schedule when I have super packed days. Sometimes I do need a 30 minute or 15 minute schedule. Most days I don’t. I know the routine that our family is in and what times I need to be at those activities. So the days where I have service activities, dinner, dance, Awana, therapy, Bible study and errands, like I did yesterday, those schedules are helpful.
3. Set up a cleaning schedule and stick to it.
I started out setting aside one day and cleaning my house from top to bottom and doing laundry on that day. But that was when I had one child. Not two very, very busy children. It was amazing to know that I didn’t need to freak out about that dust bunny, I would be vacuuming on Tuesday. But now, I have to clean when I can and all I can in that time. I have to change things up a bit. Every night after dinner the dishes get done while the girls are in the bath tub. This works for me because my six and a half year old watches her two-year-old sister and they are right in the next room from me. I can hear every little thing. I run their water, scrub them while it’s filling and then I can let them play while I clean. They are contained and safe. The whole kitchen gets cleaned right then and there so that when I wake up in the morning everything is already cleaned and I’m not making breakfast around a huge mess from dinner. I have to vacuum around Shine’s napping schedule. I require that Sparkle help me pick things up, organize, and put things away. And we DO NOT pay her for this. We tell her that she is a part of this family and needs to help out with things around the house. Organization is a major factor in her ability to help. If she knows that everything has a place, then she knows where to put it and I don’t end up with a pile on the breakfast nook.
4. I organize my home with a household notebook.
I put everything I can in here. It simplified my life immensely when I know exactly where the important paperwork is. Rebecca offers gorgeous printables to fill up your notebook. Please check her shop for more information.
5. Pick your battles.
You may not have a spotless house. I did when I only had one child. But after my daughter, who I call Shine on my blog, had her open heart surgery in January, my life completely changed. She was mobile…And she was quick. She’s extremely independent and making up for lost time. She spent fourteen months not being able to crawl, walk, scoot, or get around…at all. So now she terrorizes my house. And I’ve had to figure out ways to contain her, entertain her, and distract her. She is completely different than my older daughter, Sparkle. Sparkle was self-entertaining, didn’t get into hardly any trouble, and is pretty easy going. So, if toys are all over my living room, dishes are in the sink and wipes (which Shine loves to play with) are all over my house, so be it. I tell visitors that we live in our house and that it’s well loved. The toys and kids bedrooms are picked up before bedtime, the bathroom is too after nightly baths. I would spend countless hours frustrated, angry and feeling defeated that the toys were all over the place. I would let things get way out of hand because I felt totally overwhelmed with the chaos everywhere. Breakfast dishes would be sitting on the high chair tray, covering the dinner mess that never got cleaned up from last night. And I’m sure you know exactly what I am talking about. I hated it. I still do. I can’t stand mess in any shape or form, but doggone it. When you’re exhausted, you’re exhausted. There is just NO more room for telling yourself, pick up just one more thing.
6. Organize your entire house.
Have a spot for everything. And I mean everything. Search on Pinterest for organizing ideas and find your favorites and actually DO them. The biggest culprits in our house: the kitchen, entryways, dining room, my office, the garage, and my truck. Include your vehicles in your organizing because leaving it out lets you have a mess there and it may become contagious to the rest of your home. We have bags for every activity my girls are involved in and they are hung right by the garage door. Each bag contains the name of my children and the activity. So that we all know which bag to grab on the way out the door. Even my darling hubby knows which ones to grab with what child. This has been the single most saving grace tool that I utilized three years ago and I’ve never changed it. If I need to sew a patch on Sparkle’s Awana vest, it gets listed on my shopping list for matching thread, on my to-do list to actually do it, and then it gets put right back in her bag once it’s completed and two things get crossed off my list. For Shine’s therapy class, she has a bag that contains extra diapers, a change of clothes, any paperwork she might have.
7. MENU PLAN!!!
I cannot say enough about this!! I used to do two months in advance and loved it! But I just don’t have the time to do it like that any more. It was about three hours finding meals and writing lists. I don’t ever make the same thing twice…well rarely. It has to make our five star rating for everyone to be put in the end of the year cookbook that I make with Shutterfly. It contains all our favorite recipes for that year so that I don’t have to dig through my Pinterest account or my iPad menu app. I menu plan for two weeks. I set my schedule out so that I know which days I would need a crock pot meal, eating out or an ordering out day. I find recipes that I may have pinned over the last month, or through cookbook magazines or my iPad menu app. I write them down in my note taking books AND where they are at and which page if I use a magazine. Lately, I just pin the recipes I want on Pinterest and get to them using my iPad so that I don’t have to print anything out and it’s all in one place. Easy and convenient. My menu app allows me to bring recipes over to that app using their online login and then I can have my grocery list and menu plan all in one place. And the app organizes your grocery list into the aisles at the store. This was an absolute lifesaver and cut half of my time off at the store. But it also takes a bit more time to bring all the recipes over to the app. So, pick your battles.
8. Clean up the things that you get out.
I know that I am a big offender of this one because I have the thought… “I am the one cleaning it up later anyway.” But this is killing my effectiveness as a housekeeper. I spend so much time corralling Shine away from my projects and then cleaning up after her that it could have all been avoided just by cleaning up my sewing project or my client binder. And then there’s my truck… it’s our family vehicle so it gets a ton of traffic inside and out. I usually have my hands so full of stuff that the Starbucks cup and my shake cup get left inside along with the girl’s trash and bags no matter how many times I remind them to grab their stuff on the way inside. One thing that I use to help is a 31 Gifts bag. I use their utility tote as a transfer bag. I keep grocery bags inside to be used as trash bags for the family to clean up real quick. As we walk inside we toss it in the trash bin outside so the mess doesn’t even make it inside the house. The transfer tote contains everything that I will need for the day. I can fit almost everything inside that baby. My iPad for teaching days, along with some coloring books, our lunches and drinks and my lesson plans. On days where I have numerous things like appointments, shooting sessions and dance activities, I stash the paperwork I need for the doctor’s visits, snacks for my every growing appetite, my client binder with freshly printed contracts, and anything else I may need. My iPad is my constant organizing companion if you can’t tell. I store everything on it. And when I have down time, like waiting at dance or appointments, I go through things that I might need to get done. Like responding to emails, finishing up some addresses for my baby shower or Pinterest. I can even blog right on that thing. Seriously, it’s super handy and when my kids get super bored, I can hand it over and let Sparkle work on her spelling words or let Shine read some Sesame Street books.
9. “You can always do more.”
And this one I use knowing that you ladies will pray and seek God’s counsel before you whip this bad boy out in your daily lives. I have been taught that in a leadership development-training program that I did for over eight years. And I would have to disagree at some point. There are days when you really have given that day your all. And it still looks like some semblance of Freddy Krueger. My darling, please seek God’s plan for your day. Some days strip you down and leave you feeling like you want to quit this deal. Hang in there. Tomorrow is another day. Wipe your tears, or better yet, let God wipe them away. Pull out your Bible, find a quiet place, even if it’s inside your car in the garage for ten minutes and just read. Pray and read God’s Word. Even just for ten minutes. Bring a notebook and jot down all the things you hear Him say. The phrase “You can always do more” is directed at you during those days where you haven’t done anything, nor do you care too. I teach my children that you need to work before you play. And I truly try to live that out. There are days when I just want to sit down and finish that project or facebook the day away. I would caution you that it can become sin in your life. Yes, you do need a day of rest. Please take one even if your house is a complete mess. But if you are on day two or three of resting and neglecting your duties, it has become a sin. And trust me, I can raise my hand and say that I am guilty of this one too. I am also not talking about when you are sick or newly pregnant and are throwing up every five minutes or recovering from surgery. Just use your judgment. If you can honestly say to God, I need this day of rest and not feel that you KNOW you should be up and cleaning up that mess your toddler just made or doing the dishes, then please do so.
10. And the final one: get the poison out of your life.
We all have them. You know who I am talking about. That woman that leaves you feeling downtrodden disgusted or defeated. Get them out of your life. How in the world do you plan on maintaining the chaos and then moving on to calming it when you are inviting more of it into your life? Gossip has no place in our Christ centered life. Nor does having someone judge you with the intent of hurting you, belittle you, condemn you or criticize you. Keep them at arms length. Speak to them about what you are doing with love. Let them know that you love them and tell them how you feel. Matthew 18:15-17 gives you a good way of doing just that. If they refuse to change, then you need to get them away from you and your family. Pray for them still, but position them a distance away. There is not meant to be division in the Body of Christ. The best way to avoid hating your sister is to pray for her, love her and distance yourself from her. And if she is not a fellow believer, pray for her and love her, but get her away from you. It may be very hard. It may be painful. But your life will reap the benefits when you don’t feel like a failure in every way and then have someone judging you constantly for what you do. I’ve been told that I am a clothing snob because I shop at Gymboree and Carters. I have three little girls. What good does it do me to shop somewhere where the clothing doesn’t hold up to YEARS of stains, wear and tear and love? I shop the sales, I am frugal and shop within my budget. Never do I show up with a charge card and go into debt for clothes my children will wear for only a few short years. I have been hurt many, many times by the things ladies have said to me. And please, don’t be this woman. If you have doubts, look at your life. Do you have a rotten mouth that spews all over those you love? Do you gossip and slander others? Do you constantly have a negative comment about everything? Do you pass judgment or always know what someone should do or not do? Do you share that opinion whenever and however you feel like it? Please pray that God would show you and unlock those hurting parts in you and feel the need to hurt others. Hurting people hurt people.
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