Living the 5 Love Languages {Affirmation}

Welcome to my new series -- we are going to be talking about each of the 5 love languages as defined by Gary Chapman in his book, The Five Love Languages. If you haven't read it you definitely should, but please join us even if you haven't! You can find a quiz to find out your own love language on their website as well as join a challenge that starts this week to help you better show love to your spouse! Each day this week I will give you practical ideas to start living out the love languages to your own spouse. I hope you enjoy the series and if you have any more ideas or what has worked for your and your spouse please comment below, I'd love to hear from you! :)

 

"Actions don't always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, "I love you," are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten."

 

{Practical Ideas}

• Tell your spouse that you are proud of them and give an example ("I am so proud of you! You are such a good mom/dad")
• Write your spouse a love letter like you did when you were dating, tell them about why you love them and reaffirm your vows.
• Brag about your spouse in front of them. (Compliment something they are good at that you are proud of)
• Don't say anything bad about your spouse to them or anyone else. Women especially need to be careful what we say to our friends that may plant unhealthy seeds in our own hearts. (Wives if this is your husband's love language consider taking the 30 Day Husband Challenge)
• Show them respect by fully listening to their ideas and then complimenting them on the good qualities that were there. (Practice using the phrase, "Yes, if..." Rather than listing off reasons why something won't work, validate their thoughts and ideas by encouraging them to work through any issues that you see. For example, "What would you think if I planted a garden this summer?" "That sounds like something you would really enjoy! If we can't find a spot with enough sunlight in the back do you have a second spot in mind?" Using "yes, if..." affirms them and makes them feel like you appreciate their ideas.)
• Be careful of your words - sarcasm can come across as hurtful even if you are just joking.
• Compliment your spouse on something they have been working hard at or a new project they have going on. This let's them know that you noticed and appreciate what they have been doing.
• If you have a concern or criticism of your spouse choose your words very carefully. Make sure that what you are saying is understood as a problem with the situation and not them personally. Affirm your commitment to them and your relationship. As your spouse they look to you for approval above anyone else. When you are disappointed it is a big deal. It may help in this situation to physically touch or embrace your spouse and make frequent eye contact during the conversation. Don't be surprised if they get defensive. Criticism can often feels like a personal attack.