The TRUTH About The First Week

My cousin just welcomed her first child into the world last weekend and it had me thinking and remembering when I became a Mommy for the very first time almost 8 years ago - yikes!! We had taken Lamaze classes to help prepare for labor (that was NOTHING like what they described) and even though I had been counting the days until I would hold my baby boy in my arms I was scared! Scared of labor. Scared of motherhood. Scared of losing my future. Even scared of my baby. So, from one mama to another here are a few suggestions and a little of what you can expect the first week after your new baby is born.

Let me start by saying that after giving birth 3 times it is important to remember that EVERY MOM, EVERY BIRTH, and EVERY BABY IS DIFFERENT! This is what I have learned from my own experience...

Labor is hard. Really hard! But you can do it!!
When I was in labor with my first son, my contractions never stopped. In Lamaze, they said I would get a break in between --- I didn't with my first labor (I did with the other two, so its they aren't telling you all lies). Only a few hours into active labor I was already exhausted and my moaning was so loud that my nurse actually told me to be quiet because I was scaring the other patients (YES that REALLY happened!!). Even though I was determined to have a "natural" labor I agreed to medication to help ease the pain and actually fell asleep once they gave it to me. When my beautiful baby boy was born a few hours later, I was utterly exhausted. But I remember thinking I had done it! God created my body with the ability to give birth to a child, and with His help --- I had done it! I also swore that I would never do it again, but with time your mind puts away the memory of the pain of childbirth and leaves behind the feeling of complete JOY and the miracle of new life.

My advice: Have a birth plan but be flexible and know that it is okay if things don't go just like you planned. In the end, you will still hold your precious child in your arms.

You are going to be tired EXHAUSTED! It is worth it!!
I have never been more tired in my whole life than in the first week after my son was born. My son was an eager eater from the moment he was born -- he was 8 lb 1 oz -- so after nursing him every 30-45 minutes around the clock for the first 24 hours of his life and no rest since delivery for me, I willingly and eagerly agreed to let my nurse give him a bottle of formula. She took him to the nursery, while I fell into an exhausted sleep. 3 hours later I woke up panicked that my baby was missing only to find him swaddled and sleeping like an angel nearby. That was the moment when I fell in love with my child. I will never forget it. My heart was INSTANTLY filled with an indescribable ADORATION for this child whom I barely knew. The next few weeks as my husband and I learned about parenthood were filled with equal amounts of awe and frustration. We were tired more tired than we had ever been and really had no clue what we were doing, but we had our son - and that made it all worth it.

My advice: Giving your child formula between nursing is not the end of the world - once my milk came in, I stopped supplementing and breastfeed successfully until my son was 8 months old.

Trust your heart, and don't take every piece of advice people give you.
I swear I got about 10 new mothers when my son was born and every one of them had advice on what I should do with my baby. I was a new mom and they were only trying to help, but all I heard was criticism and what I was doing wrong. HEAR THIS!! You are a GOOD MOM and God has put an instinct in your heart that will help you raise your child and show you what to do. Letting him sleep in the swing because that is the only way you can sleep to IS OKAY! Letting him fuss so you can pee without holding him IS OKAY! Letting him play alone for a while so you can be alone too IS OKAY! Not wearing a moby wrap because you are too exhausted to figure out how to put the stinking thing on IS OKAY! Breastfeeding him to sleep and holding him in your arms IS OKAY!

My advice: Enjoy your baby - and all its ups and downs - for this too shall pass and they only stay little for so long.

Don't be afraid to ask for help.
People want to help but often are too embarrassed to ask or don't really know what they need. If you have no time to cook, ask a friend to bring you a meal (or order a pizza). If your laundry pile is higher than Mt. Everest ask a family member to wash a load, or for me fold and put away the pile that is clean but has since been ignored. If you need a nap, ask a friend to come "babysit" at your house while you take a nap. (I say at your house, because if you are anything like me having your new baby any more than a room away will cause enough anxiety to keep you awake anyways).

My advice: Enjoy your new baby - all the rest of it doesn't really matter in the end.

Spend time ALONE with your family!
Everyone you know will be anxious to visit you and to meet your baby. Don't rush it. When my next child is born this summer, I don't plan having company until at least a week after we get home - certainly not within the first few days. Spend a few days getting to know your new baby and welcoming him or her into your home. This is a special time that you should keep special between you and your husband. Don't get me wrong - I am all about having someone come stay to help out, but let them do the housework while you and your hubby fall in love with your child.

My advice: Spend as much time alone with your child and your spouse as you can - it may be the only time you will ever be alone together for quite a while.

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful!"

Psalm 139:14